It happens every year about this time. The days begin to visibly stretch. The thermometer creeps up gradually. Seed catalogues begin to populate the mailbox. We start having dreams of green leafy foliage with shoots and vines emerging from manicured garden spaces.

And then I look around at the carnage of my houseplants. I can’t explain why someone who fancies himself a green thumb in the outdoors can lay waste to virtually all the indoor plants. The fig tree is a desiccated bundle of brown leaves. The succulents have shrivelled to corn husks. Even the generational plant whose offspring are blooming merrily in other family homes has leaves with an unsightly brown fringe. How does this happen?

They aren’t neglected. Maybe overwatering? Over-fertilizing? Too much sun? Too little? A touch of a cross draft? There just comes a time to take action!

Enter silk and plastic replicas. Sure it’s an easy way out, and it’s a bit of an investment. However, compared to the parade of withering misery that’s my indoor plant collection, they bring that crucial sense of green a person needs at this time of year. From the woven fibres of spiky grass to the glossy plastic sheen of the pseudo-succulents, my fake forest is so far immune to my failure of care. They add that 'paper moss' spiritual boost until the grass pokes through the snowbanks. Then it will be time to over-fertilize my lawn.

Best of all my of all my fake plants go really well with my battery powered candles.

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